Sunday, February 15, 2009

how to blog a hyperlink poem

how to and how to not write a poem
lawn jarts! I used to throw 'em
bonzai trees and how to grow 'em
your rights: you should know 'em
your own pajama pants: how to sew 'em

how to edit videos for free
home alarm should shout 'sooey?'
how to make nigiri sushi
I used to love to watch me some Hong Kong Phooey
but what the hell is blue tea?
you ever wonder what the blind see?

learn how to read people's minds
and what to do with orange rinds
what's in the New York Times headlines?
how can I make wind chimes?
where to look up rhymes
how many kinds of venetian blinds can you find?

how to impossible
who can fix my bicycle?
what is impassible?
who the heck's the Icicle?
learn about classical
wait, Usher sings "Nice & Slow?"
I think it's mean to midget throw
and I didn't like that movie "Blow"
but I really LOL @ Sarah Silverman's show

how can you spot periwinkle from navy blue or teal?
is the Lock Ness Monster real?
when they're walkin' into church, why do people kneel?
what happens if you steal?
you kept together by love like Captain & Tennille?
who ya think covers it better: Lauryn Hill or Seal?
yeah, right! this is how to get a record deal?
can Janice Dickinson's face show an even keel?

how to make it in Hollywood
are bees attracted to mistletoes?
directions to Dollywood
how you can make Christmas bows
I wanna be more like that little engine that could
in Brooklyn I heard a tree grows
probably chop it down for wood
above the now Ground Zero
on a wire he once stood.

when the funky beats drop
Brobee dances on his tippy toes
what you search, Google knows

how to fight a bear
ADD's black box scare
you up for truth or dare?
"is there anybody out there?"
how to curl short hair
does anyone still dress like Sonny & Cher?
does anybody really care?
why mom told you to wear clean underwear

how to tie a bow tie
how to fly, make yourself cry,
how to get rid of a nasty sty
are you givin' it the good ol' college try?
false eyelashes: oh, ladies, why?
mmm...seafood: how much should I buy?
Don't Repeat Yourself: the acronym is DRY

bored yet? why? well, here's some bubble wrap
remember when ol' whats-her-name got in trouble? Slap!
keg tap phone tap tree tap ball cap
who makes you clap? who's the very best at rap?

"Carpe Do-om"
should be on his to-mb
some of the samples, I knew 'em:
the big bass n beats bo-om
wise words whiz by-- zo-om!
so tasty you can stew 'em
then big league chew 'em
I listen to him alone in my ro-om

makes me wanna sweep the sidewalk with a bro-om
like that dude in Breakin' or Breakin' 2

wow! this graffiti breaks in-- "too
many emcee's, not enough mics"

found some funky 70's shit by Crown Heights
but Eddie's song always seems to fill my nights
oh yeah... back to how to make kites
and how to put your name in lights
don't waste time in fights
just set your sights-- high
before life passes you right by

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