Saturday, September 16, 2006

top ten pet peeves

I'm hungover and crabby. So here's a bitter, evil top ten for today. Oh, CH3CH2OH, how I do hate thee in large quantities.

10. Poor grammar and spelling. Especially the bastardazation of the English language due to the internet. The dumbing down of America, indeed.
9. When people put a roll of toilet paper on the wrong way. The new sheets should go over the top towards you, not from underneath where they might touch the wall.
8. Unshelled peanuts. Who has time for all that work for nothing? They have machines or migrant workers that do that for us in third world countries. Why do they still sell these?
7. Bill collectors.
6. Itchy tags sewn into the inside of clothing. Don't big clothing manufacturers have a testing department?
5. SPAM, please leave my inbox. You are not welcome here.
4. Socks who get divorced from their significant other somewhere between the hamper and the dryer. My drawer is starting to look like a singles bar for socks.
3. When people stop over without calling first.
2. When people abuse their cellphones...by using them in the car or in public or in the company of others.
1. When people don't wash their hands after they use the restroom.

7 comments:

  1. OMG! C U soon 4 sum sock matching. I'll bring my cell 2 talk 2 U on it.

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  2. Hahaha! That's a little more Prince than it is bad internet speak, but ten extra points to you for trying to dumb yourself down all in the name of humor. ; ]

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  3. 10. I call this the George-Bushing of 'merica. Or Dubyaism.
    9. Amen. Why do people insist on this tragic mis-use of a roll of toilet paper? Why am I so obsessed with this?
    8. Actually, this one doesn't bother me, and I had some last night at Texas Corral. Throwing the shells on the floor in a restaurant: that bothers me.
    7. The bane of my existence.
    6. I LOVE Hanes for printing the tags inside the t-shirts instead of itchy tags that grind into the back of your neck all day like Fruit Of The Loom.
    5. SPAM. If I wanted Vi@gra, I'd see my doctor, not some quack on the internet who annoys me.
    4. The older I get, the more sockless I become.
    3. Try living out in the middle of nowhere. Works for me.
    2. I just saw a guy walking down the street, talking on his cell phone. He walked over to a girl sitting in the back of a pickup truck. She was also talking on her cell phone. He was talking to her! Whatever happened to a face to face conversation?
    1. Don't get me started again... I saw it last night in Texas Corral, and I almost yelled at the old fart: Wash Your Hands, Cooter!

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  4. Dumb down? Heck that took a lot of brain power!

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  5. I can't believe no one called me out on the mispelling of 'bastardization.' It wasn't even on purpose. Oh, the irony.

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  6. “cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!”

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  7. Eeeww eewww ewwwww! @ number 1. Shudder.

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